"It wasn't only one thing. That changed my mind." He assumes that's probably true of most people, who go through such massive shifts in their worldview. And there are just as many who double down: fear of losing their place in the world, reluctance to give up the advantages they'd secured.

"Lord Seeker Lambert’s decision to dissolve the Nevarran Accord was ... before that, there were appalling things happening, but it seemed like small local problems cropping up in the wake of the tragedy here in Kirkwall. But with the Accord gone, it was war, and that was. I didn't feel my vows left me much choice. But I do think it was a first step. Long before the election that put Beatrix in power. There were others, in between."

It's not (only) that he feels uncomfortable taking any sort of credit for changing his course. It's just that it's felt so gradual to him that he wants to make clear it wasn't a journey he set out on purposefully. He looked up one day and the boat of his own sense of morality had carried him far from where the rest of the Order stayed on shore, he sometimes felt.