"To be frank with you, I'm suspicious of anyone it doesn't bother, at least a bit," Julius says, quietly, taking in the the idea of other worlds having something similar. "When I was younger, and had been purposely more cut off from the world, I thought ..."
He stops. This doesn't require thought: he knows he hasn't discussed this next part before.
"I taught the apprentices. At Kinloch Hold, it was part of my duties. And I always tried to help, if anyone seemed scared or nervous, because it felt to me that making voluntary Tranquility the only option other than performing the Harrowing. I can't prove it didn't prevent anything bad, but through observation, I can say that even without overt abuse, it was more likely to identify young people who were scared than young people who were a threat. By its nature."
And while Tranquility wasn't a common outcome at his Circle, it wasn't so uncommon he'd never had a student choose it. He'd never had it feel like something other than a failure.
"I also know it ... many people tend to view the Tranquil as less than human. Not always out of malice, just ... habit. The way Circles were set up. And I've certainly thought before now that I wish I knew what had happened to them, when the Mage-Templar War broke out. My hands aren't clean; I didn't get them out or do anything to help them, and I regret that." It's somehow, if not easy, then a relief to say aloud things that he mostly assumes other Circle mages know, or know enough of. There's so many threads to pull on with Tranquility, and Strange had asked.
no subject
He stops. This doesn't require thought: he knows he hasn't discussed this next part before.
"I taught the apprentices. At Kinloch Hold, it was part of my duties. And I always tried to help, if anyone seemed scared or nervous, because it felt to me that making voluntary Tranquility the only option other than performing the Harrowing. I can't prove it didn't prevent anything bad, but through observation, I can say that even without overt abuse, it was more likely to identify young people who were scared than young people who were a threat. By its nature."
And while Tranquility wasn't a common outcome at his Circle, it wasn't so uncommon he'd never had a student choose it. He'd never had it feel like something other than a failure.
"I also know it ... many people tend to view the Tranquil as less than human. Not always out of malice, just ... habit. The way Circles were set up. And I've certainly thought before now that I wish I knew what had happened to them, when the Mage-Templar War broke out. My hands aren't clean; I didn't get them out or do anything to help them, and I regret that." It's somehow, if not easy, then a relief to say aloud things that he mostly assumes other Circle mages know, or know enough of. There's so many threads to pull on with Tranquility, and Strange had asked.