I am not allowed to leave my room without an escort. I can’t spend much time at the library to look for cures for my condition or in the garden to be among the plants.
( A small snort: ) If you think that’s taking it out on me, then think again. I’ve put up with worse.
I overheard some of that public conversation. People are high-strung, and your frustrations are understandable. You can’t go out right now, but if you can sit tight until the present danger’s passed, then we’ll see if we can arrange a daytrip for you to get some decompression out in nature. Safely.
And on the cure front— Niehaus and I have been brainstorming, and we have a few ideas which seem promising. There are things we can try. We’re determined to not have you like this forever.
Just— y’know, after we’re done actively hunting actual literal demons.
So… ( a beat, ) I started to assume as much, but if there’s a certain risk involved in the attempt. If, at absolute worst, it might unravel you out of existence entirely. You’d still be up for it?
[Tav sighs again.] Can’t be worse than having a multi-planal tadpole shoved in my eye also causing me to sweat.
[Wait. The tadpole.]
The tadpole. The tadpole! It can cross planes! I didn’t think I still had it because I didn’t feel it wriggling around, but there’s no one from home for it to react to.
[Tav is moving away from his crystal, pacing fervently.]
You’re a healer, you could remove it, and maybe that could break the connection with my father.
[ The voice gets smaller and then louder as Tav paces back and forth, meaning Strange has to strain to hear the details and then isn’t quite sure he heard them correctly to begin with. You’re a healer, you could remove it! ]
Wait, are you—
Did you just say you have a multi-planal tadpole in your brain?
[ Hm. Maybe it’s possible. Dreams and monsters have come through rifts, after all, so what if this tadpole thing came with him? Then this whole thing is, ironically, back to being a neurosurgery problem. Without a Manhattan operating room and equipment and steady hands to work on it, though…
Strange hesitates. Not wanting to puncture this sudden surge of hope and excitement from the elf, but wanting to caution him. ]
Tav, has anyone explained to you yet the nature of rifters? The things that are particular to us, physically. What we’re made of.
[ ok deep breath, try to handle this with at least a little more delicacy than Gwenaëlle does with the new rifters— ]
The most likely explanation I’ve read and heard from the others here, after their years of observation and experimentation, is that rifters are actually a form of spirit. We’re— spirits who dreamt ourselves into reality. We’re affected by the Fade and lyrium in ways that others aren’t. We’re not literally physically the people from those other realms. You didn’t cross over between planes; you were made here, with all the memories of your other self.
But this, in your case, is very good news. Firstly, that I suspect this means you’re already free of that tadpole. Secondly, that whatever connection exists between Bhaal and Tav, it should be more malleable here than you expect.
The theories that Niehaus and I would like to test involve exploiting that malleability. Our natures as rifters are more mutable than most. We’re hoping that could go a way towards curing you.
Good news about the tadpole. Been trying to rid myself of it since I realized it was there. Apparently, it's all part of a grand design that my other-- that I helped put together.
I've read about the Fade, though. It's something to do with dreaming, isn't it? He only comes out when I'm unconscious, do you think we could fight him in the Fade? Or are we talking about thinking him away.
Thinking him away, yes. Which sounds astoundingly simple, but one must consider that the Fade is both the dream dimension and the source of magic here in this world, which means that exerting will over it is paramount. The local mages, some of them have the ability to lucid dream in the Fade, and thus have unprecedented control over their surroundings.
And sometimes rifters leave for long periods and then they come back changed, different— the Fade re-makes them differently based on what the spirit itself expects itself to be. Even back where I come from, one of the core tenets about shaping the dream dimension is belief.
So, basically, find a way re-make you in the Fade without that urge. Again, vastly simplified, we’ve some additional thoughts on having a mage train you for better self-control — they, too, have to battle the risk of possession in their dreams — and maybe have a templar involved to temporarily strip away magic and what makes you you so that the Fade can craft it anew… anyway, point being, Tav, we have some plans of attack. You’re not gonna be cooped up here forever.
[ —Maybe not a grandiose promise he should’ve made. But. Oh well. It’s done. ]
Tav is quiet for a long moment. He thinks of Alfira, brave Alfira, who only wanted to travel with their party and write songs of their adventures. Brave Alfira who met a gruesome and bloody death at Tav's hand, one of her horns sawed off and used as an instrument of her demise. He'd wondered how, in those last moments, if she remained just as brave or if fear penetrated her heart as it lay open and exposed to the world?
His own fear stirs in his gut. What if they strip him down and he doesn't come back? What if he can never use magic again?
Or, much worse, what if he's re-made into the other version of him permanently? What if he comes out of this nothing but a rabid animal?
It makes his incarceration much more minor in comparison.
and that horrified silence spins out instead, and Strange eventually sighs. Try as he might, that existential crisis was probably inevitable. After Tav doesn’t say anything: ]
Yeah, see, that’s why I asked if you were still up for pursuing this. Despite the risks.
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portalling) wrote2022-04-02 01:17 pm
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We’re in lockdown, Tav. No one’s to leave the Gallows until the security threat’s passed and we’ve sorted this out.
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I need a break or a cure and soon.
2/2
I apologize. I am... deeply frustrated, but I should not have taken it out on you. I have few friends and I can't bear to lose one.
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I overheard some of that public conversation. People are high-strung, and your frustrations are understandable. You can’t go out right now, but if you can sit tight until the present danger’s passed, then we’ll see if we can arrange a daytrip for you to get some decompression out in nature. Safely.
And on the cure front— Niehaus and I have been brainstorming, and we have a few ideas which seem promising. There are things we can try. We’re determined to not have you like this forever.
Just— y’know, after we’re done actively hunting actual literal demons.
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Alright. [Another breath before, quieter,] Alright. Thank you. For listening, despite my coming in angry as a bull.
And I appreciate looking for a cure. I want that more than anything.
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[Wait. The tadpole.]
The tadpole. The tadpole! It can cross planes! I didn’t think I still had it because I didn’t feel it wriggling around, but there’s no one from home for it to react to.
[Tav is moving away from his crystal, pacing fervently.]
You’re a healer, you could remove it, and maybe that could break the connection with my father.
It’s somewhere in my brain, if it’s anywhere.
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Wait, are you—
Did you just say you have a multi-planal tadpole in your brain?
lmaoooooo
[More pacing.]
If it can cross those-- and the Infernal Plane, fuck that's three-- it could... do you think? It's buried deep in there, either way.
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Strange hesitates. Not wanting to puncture this sudden surge of hope and excitement from the elf, but wanting to caution him. ]
Tav, has anyone explained to you yet the nature of rifters? The things that are particular to us, physically. What we’re made of.
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No, not yet.
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The most likely explanation I’ve read and heard from the others here, after their years of observation and experimentation, is that rifters are actually a form of spirit. We’re— spirits who dreamt ourselves into reality. We’re affected by the Fade and lyrium in ways that others aren’t. We’re not literally physically the people from those other realms. You didn’t cross over between planes; you were made here, with all the memories of your other self.
But this, in your case, is very good news. Firstly, that I suspect this means you’re already free of that tadpole. Secondly, that whatever connection exists between Bhaal and Tav, it should be more malleable here than you expect.
The theories that Niehaus and I would like to test involve exploiting that malleability. Our natures as rifters are more mutable than most. We’re hoping that could go a way towards curing you.
no subject
I've read about the Fade, though. It's something to do with dreaming, isn't it? He only comes out when I'm unconscious, do you think we could fight him in the Fade? Or are we talking about thinking him away.
no subject
And sometimes rifters leave for long periods and then they come back changed, different— the Fade re-makes them differently based on what the spirit itself expects itself to be. Even back where I come from, one of the core tenets about shaping the dream dimension is belief.
So, basically, find a way re-make you in the Fade without that urge. Again, vastly simplified, we’ve some additional thoughts on having a mage train you for better self-control — they, too, have to battle the risk of possession in their dreams — and maybe have a templar involved to temporarily strip away magic and what makes you you so that the Fade can craft it anew… anyway, point being, Tav, we have some plans of attack. You’re not gonna be cooped up here forever.
[ —Maybe not a grandiose promise he should’ve made. But. Oh well. It’s done. ]
tw: some minor gore
Tav is quiet for a long moment. He thinks of Alfira, brave Alfira, who only wanted to travel with their party and write songs of their adventures. Brave Alfira who met a gruesome and bloody death at Tav's hand, one of her horns sawed off and used as an instrument of her demise. He'd wondered how, in those last moments, if she remained just as brave or if fear penetrated her heart as it lay open and exposed to the world?
His own fear stirs in his gut. What if they strip him down and he doesn't come back? What if he can never use magic again?
Or, much worse, what if he's re-made into the other version of him permanently? What if he comes out of this nothing but a rabid animal?
It makes his incarceration much more minor in comparison.
And Tav, for once, is stunned into silence.]
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and that horrified silence spins out instead, and Strange eventually sighs. Try as he might, that existential crisis was probably inevitable. After Tav doesn’t say anything: ]
Yeah, see, that’s why I asked if you were still up for pursuing this. Despite the risks.
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However, he lands squarely on the fact that he never wants Alfira’s death to happen again. If that means he doesn’t come out the other side, then—]
When do we start?
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As soon as we’re not chasing down demons in the Gallows anymore. We’ll get there. Sit tight, kid.
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