If he told you unprompted, I feel like that suggests not sociopathy, right? Like, Captain Rowntree said he had to tell me, so I thought he was maybe feigning distress to win my sympathy, but I really don't think it's that.
Look, we live in a place where magic exists, so I can't rule out that he's perfectly sane and just living through the most fucked up situation imaginable, but I also can't rule out the brain tumor thing, you know?
Yeah, he was astoundingly open about it, all things considered. I probably wouldn’t have been quite so transparent in his shoes. He does seem genuinely earnest and contrite about it: a sociopath presumably wouldn’t care, wouldn’t try so much to stop this from happening.
( Thinking it through aloud: )
My first thought went science. Something neurological, disassociative identity disorders, there’s so many psychological disorders which could cause outbursts of anger and violence… But, like you say, we live in a goddamn magic world. I asked Tav the cause, and he said, ( deep breath, there’s that headache again, ) it’s due to a blood bond between himself and his father, the god of murder.
Which. I mean.
But even where I come from, there’s gods and curses. Since becoming a sorcerer, I’ve had to remind myself so much more is possible than I ever imagined once. More things in heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, etc.
You know, it actually makes me feel a little better that you're an actual sorcerer and you still forget it can actually be magic sometimes. Like, at least I honestly come from a world with no magic at all, as far as I know.
[A small sigh.]
So, I guess, a couple things. In the short term, it kind of doesn't matter, in that the problem is compulsions to violence and murder, right? So whether that's magic or brain chemistry, the short-term solution is keep him restrained at night and tell people to be on their guard. Rowntree is dealing with the first part and the division heads have been discussing part two.
But. Longer term. He came to me because he wants to know if the Research division can cure him. And that... then it's going to matter what's causing it. A lot.
I’ve had, say, thirty years of science and only about five of magic. Old habits die hard. I still find myself instinctively reaching for the former.
( But more to the point of a cure, )
He said the only way to stop it was for either himself or his father to die. Assuming that that’s incorrect, because we need to assume it’s doable— I still don’t know how in the world we’d diagnose this properly, let alone cure it. I still keep thinking mitigation. I’ve read about spells which can induce a magical sleep; I was thinking a rune that he can activate himself, say enscribed on a necklace or something, which can knock himself out.
But that still doesn’t feel sustainable. It’s still just a band-aid on the real problem.
Yeah, I mean, a band-aid we need, but not a long-term solution. I wish there were a way to like ... do a reset, right? Since he's a rifter, regardless of how real the curse is where he comes from, as far as I know there's no god of murder in Thedas. Presumably not specifically his father, either way. So like ... the curse may be real, but just because the Fade thinks it should be, you know?
On the other hand, messing around with the Fade sounds like a great way for you or I to accidentally blink ourselves out of existence if we pull the wrong metaphorical lever.
( This is so relevant to what they’d discussed before about the nature of rifters and the Fade’s expectations. But at the idea of it, he barks a small laugh, ) The power of positive thinking.
( Then, more seriously, because the idea does have merit: ) Maybe experiments in the Crossroads and with training for lucid dreaming. Maybe something with a templar’s nullification abilities: the way they peel back the Fade and reassert the rules of reality. Try to remind Tav’s corporeal form that whatever rules might have applied in his own universe, he’s allowed to change them here, and the god of murder doesn’t have any influence here.
[This is why she needs someone who's a sorcerer as well as a doctor. (Should she try to learn magic? Questions for another day.)]
Not one without some risks, but if Tav's being honest about how he feels, I think he'd probably give informed consent if it has a chance of working. Maybe one of the native mages might have some ideas about the approach, too. I know part of their training is lucid dreaming so they don't get sucker-punched by demons in the Fade while they're asleep.
Exactly. And to a lesser extent, I guess there’s meditation, breathing exercises, calming teas, anything I could teach him in the meantime to try to keep this shit on lock. He says it’s only been happening for three months, so that’s still early enough I hope he might be able to learn to control it.
But I do think we have to try something. Hoping and praying that he’s always going to be near the Gallows and that someone’s always going to be there with a handy piece of rope— We can’t do that forever. We’ll get complacent and something will go wrong.
Agreed. It's a risk we probably wouldn't even take with a non-rifter, to be honest, but it's not like he asked to be stuck here. We're going to need a long term solution that's not "lock him in every night," especially if he can do magic.
[She exhales.]
I know your hands are full, so I hate to kick this your way. But I also feel like until the decision comes out to tell the whole organization, I'm worried about the precedent of pulling more people in one at a time. Do you think you've got the capacity for us to tag-team pursuing this?
Yeah, it's not something I've encountered either. But thank you. I think we've got some good ideas, and everyone will feel better if we can get this under control. Not least Tav, I assume.
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portalling) wrote2022-04-02 01:17 pm
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no subject
If he told you unprompted, I feel like that suggests not sociopathy, right? Like, Captain Rowntree said he had to tell me, so I thought he was maybe feigning distress to win my sympathy, but I really don't think it's that.
Look, we live in a place where magic exists, so I can't rule out that he's perfectly sane and just living through the most fucked up situation imaginable, but I also can't rule out the brain tumor thing, you know?
no subject
( Thinking it through aloud: )
My first thought went science. Something neurological, disassociative identity disorders, there’s so many psychological disorders which could cause outbursts of anger and violence… But, like you say, we live in a goddamn magic world. I asked Tav the cause, and he said, ( deep breath, there’s that headache again, ) it’s due to a blood bond between himself and his father, the god of murder.
Which. I mean.
But even where I come from, there’s gods and curses. Since becoming a sorcerer, I’ve had to remind myself so much more is possible than I ever imagined once. More things in heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, etc.
no subject
[A small sigh.]
So, I guess, a couple things. In the short term, it kind of doesn't matter, in that the problem is compulsions to violence and murder, right? So whether that's magic or brain chemistry, the short-term solution is keep him restrained at night and tell people to be on their guard. Rowntree is dealing with the first part and the division heads have been discussing part two.
But. Longer term. He came to me because he wants to know if the Research division can cure him. And that... then it's going to matter what's causing it. A lot.
no subject
( But more to the point of a cure, )
He said the only way to stop it was for either himself or his father to die. Assuming that that’s incorrect, because we need to assume it’s doable— I still don’t know how in the world we’d diagnose this properly, let alone cure it. I still keep thinking mitigation. I’ve read about spells which can induce a magical sleep; I was thinking a rune that he can activate himself, say enscribed on a necklace or something, which can knock himself out.
But that still doesn’t feel sustainable. It’s still just a band-aid on the real problem.
no subject
On the other hand, messing around with the Fade sounds like a great way for you or I to accidentally blink ourselves out of existence if we pull the wrong metaphorical lever.
no subject
( Then, more seriously, because the idea does have merit: ) Maybe experiments in the Crossroads and with training for lucid dreaming. Maybe something with a templar’s nullification abilities: the way they peel back the Fade and reassert the rules of reality. Try to remind Tav’s corporeal form that whatever rules might have applied in his own universe, he’s allowed to change them here, and the god of murder doesn’t have any influence here.
no subject
[This is why she needs someone who's a sorcerer as well as a doctor. (Should she try to learn magic? Questions for another day.)]
Not one without some risks, but if Tav's being honest about how he feels, I think he'd probably give informed consent if it has a chance of working. Maybe one of the native mages might have some ideas about the approach, too. I know part of their training is lucid dreaming so they don't get sucker-punched by demons in the Fade while they're asleep.
no subject
But I do think we have to try something. Hoping and praying that he’s always going to be near the Gallows and that someone’s always going to be there with a handy piece of rope— We can’t do that forever. We’ll get complacent and something will go wrong.
no subject
[She exhales.]
I know your hands are full, so I hate to kick this your way. But I also feel like until the decision comes out to tell the whole organization, I'm worried about the precedent of pulling more people in one at a time. Do you think you've got the capacity for us to tag-team pursuing this?
no subject
It’s maybe one of the weirder… conditions… I’ve ever had to manage, but it makes sense for us to work on it. A cure’s a cure is a cure.
no subject